![]() ![]() ![]() She notes the calm-down corner is not a punishment or a place a child is banished to: instead it's a place where they go freely to play and get comfortable with the surroundings even when they aren't experiencing big emotions. Once a child's emotions have cooled off, the teachable moment is talked about: During the time-in, the first item on the agenda is always helping kids name the emotion, feel the emotion and show empathy, then supporting them as they talk through their feelings.Īs for creating a calm-down corner, Patel suggests the area be a place an upset child can go to release their emotions and cool down using age-appropriate calm down strategies. "Time-ins are a positive alternative where the child that is having a big emotion is kindly invited to sit in their calm down corner - with you - to express their feelings and eventually cool down." Patel explains. Patel suggests similar practices in place of the traditional time-out, one of which is a time-out alternative known as a "time-in." TIME OUT CORNER HOW TO"I tell her the possible consequences if she does it again and then I give her some tips on how to avoid doing it in the future," Ensomo adds, sharing the most important part of the conversation is the follow-up when she asks her child if she understands what they've talked about and what she has learned from the discussion. "I stoop down so she can look at me directly, I make sure I have her attention and then I explain to her what she did wrong." "When my daughter has been naughty, I talk to her about it," Ensomo says. Instead of a traditional time-out, Ensomo suggests talking to children with love and respect, ensuring they learn what they did wrong and how to correct it the next time around. This content is not available due to your privacy preferences. "I respect my child and treat her accordingly." "I've never put my daughter in a time-out as I find the concept ridiculous," Ensomo shares. ![]() Julie Ann Ensomo, a mom from Singapore, shares stories about motherhood on her blog, Adaptable Mama, a site she hopes will one day be able to help her own daughter if she decides to become a mom. While some experts agree time-outs are outdated, many believe a more modern take on the practice can be beneficial when done correctly using positive reinforcement. " lowers their developing sense of self and trust of the world," the New Jersey mom continues, "and many kids feel abandoned, rejected, frightened and confused afterwards - which is the total opposite of what we want." Respectful discipline methods "Studies show that time-outs do not actually help children learn to regulate their emotions or help them learn moral values like right from wrong." "Often, time-outs lead to more power struggles and fractured parent-child relationships," says Patel. Tejal Patel, a mindfulness and meditation expert for kids and parents, is a mom of three who says time-outs can impact kids' mental health, leaving young children feeling scared and alone. Some experts even feel that time-outs may damage the relationship between child and parent. Story continues Time-out and the parent-child relationship Gentle parenting focuses closely on child development and uses positive reinforcement to tackle problem behaviors through calm and respectful discipline, which would not include things like the use of a time-out chair. ![]() The idea of acknowledging kids' feelings and helping them cope with those emotions rather than disciplining them for perceived bad behaviors is strongly tied to gentle parenting - a parenting style many moms and dads are choosing in recent years over discipline strategies that focus on punishment. They aren't giving us a hard time, they're having a hard time." "We know children require co-regulation (a calming presence to help them settle down when upset,) behavior modeling, emotional coaching and discipline when they're struggling. "There's been much research done which tells us children lack the ability to pause to consider their actions and cannot regulate their emotions on their own," Howe tells Yahoo Life. "Time-outs are an outdated idea left over from previous generations that lacked an understanding of impulse control, emotional regulation and child brain development," says the San Diego, Calif. ![]()
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